Everybody Loves Saturday Night

Annnnnnd now I remember why I have skipped many Amazing Race seasons

Dear CBS,

Why oh why can't you put on something I do not care about, like NCIS, on Sunday nights, and then you can freely move it around due to football, stock car racing, or whatever else it is that delays the Sunday shows?  I have to tutor Sunday nights so I always tivo the Amazing Race.  I forgot why I didn't watch last season, but I remembered as soon as I settled in to watch it, and I was instead treated to a biography of Kenny Chesney.

I even watched the 30 minutes recorded by my tivo, only to have it cut off right after the teams all got their 7/7:15/7:30 times and were going to sleep.  Yes, I could ask tivo to record an extra hour - or even two - but should I have to do that?  You're asking me to put more time in this relationship than previously agreed upon.  I have to fast forward through all those commercials - stopping when I see Dennis Hopper because he's charismatic even when talking about retirement - and then getting sucked in, despite my best efforts, to Anderson Cooper riding in a cramped cart with Mr. Chesney.  Really, this is just too much when I need to watch Battlestar Galactica on Sundays too.

Sincerely,
Lauren

Weekend TV

What a bonus: Friday night the Sci Fi channel showed TWO episodes of Doctor Who--"Christmas Invasion" and "New Earth." Both were excellent social commentaries and both did a nice job referencing season 1--especially with the whole "I'm not sure if I'm going to like this new Doctor" bit that most of "Christmas Invasion" focuses on.

The good: Harriet Jones, Prime Minister!  And a nicely done first contact story, with England in the driving seat instead of the US. And a nice FU to Bush as well, even though PM Jones winds up blasting the aliens in the end anyway.

In "New Earth," The best part was simply, the Face of Boe. When you have the Face of Boe, you don't need much else. I thought the return of Cassandra was a little tiring, but she ended well. And if anything the return of Cassandra and her jumping between Rose and the Doctor gave both David Tennant and Billie Piper the chance to show their comedic chops. Otherwise, it was an excellent narrative, asking all the right questions: if you could find the cures for all the illnesses ever to affect humanity, but had to do so at the expense of people, is it worth it?

The eh: I wish Tennant wouldn't mumble so much. But he is so very pretty.

Speaking of which, this Sunday he's going to appear on Masterpiece Theater as Casanova the Younger. Hello.

The Amazing Race: Have I mentioned how tired I am? I hardly have the energy to write anything more than this: Duke and Lauren got the WORST. NATIVE GUIDE. EVER. Wowsers. They were too nice, too--I would've left immediately after the guide said "I'll be right back." That they didn't trust themselves enough to make it on their own pretty much means they were ready to leave the show, but still...ouch!

Oxen don't respond well to "intense"

Amazing Race Random Thoughts:

Was anyone else getting a Colin vibe off of Peter, who has now officially been entered in my "actively dislike" column? What kind of freakin' power trip is he on, anyway? Referring to Sarah's frustration as a meltdown? Telling her to stop talking? Grrr.

Rob and Kimberley are tiresome. They are totally this season's Ron and Kelly. Same initials, even. Weird.

I like Duke and Lauren and the brothers.

I also, now, kinda like Dave and Mary. I thought she was so sweet in all her wide-eyed "I've never been out of Kentucky, I've never met an Asian person or a (whispered) gay person and whaddaya know, I like 'em!" It rang sincere, and for someone who has taught people who come from similar bubbles and resist anything or anyone new, it was nice to hear, like this is what the show is about--winning a million dollars, sure, but also to present people with moments like this.

The Detour seemed like a real Detour, where both options present challenges and teams have to think about which one they're better suited for. And how hilarious were the beauty queens: "we only have one ladle. I know, I'll use my shoe!" I was kinda pulling for them to win the leg.

The Roadblock was very cool to watch. They've had archery challenges in the past, but never one with a fiery payoff. That was cool.

My show is fixed!

Anyone else watch the premiere of Amazing Race last night? Laurel and Lauren, I know you are *going* to watch, so I'm going to make this post an open forum for anyone else who wants to weigh in.

Location: Beijing. Awesome.

Teams: is it me, or did fewer teams not bug straight off the bat? I mean, aside from the obvious and aside from the difficulty I'm going to have keeping the cheerleaders and the beauty queens separate. I'm interested in seeing how the dad/daughter team is going to work out, considering he doesn't seem to have fully accepted that she's gay. The male model/recovering drug addicts seemed...well, about as normal as recovering addict male models could be, I suppose. At least they're not Eric and Jeremy.

Teams I already actively dislike: The one couple that bitched at each other the whole time, not the one from Kentucky though they bugged me too. But at least, after the wife yelled at her husband, she apologized.

I'm sad that the eliminations happened the way they did, especially with the second one--they were cool. But I can't say that I was all that surprised that the twist was an early elimination.

Next week, though--I can't wait for next week. It's like the editors deliberately shot the ox challenge for the people who watched Colin's breakdown a couple seasons ago  ("My ox is BROKEN! This is BULLSH*T!")

Revenge of the Broken Ox! Ha ha!

Amazing Two-Parter

So...are any teams sorta growing on you, or otherwise somehow less evil than you'd previously thought?

Laurel:  I am completely in love with Monica & Joseph now, especially since they seem to have ditched the t-shirts for the moment. They were the only team to sleep in the airport and they both looked mighty hot doing it. Plus Monica had on a very cute hat in Russia. Last night (and *only* last night, mind you) I didn't mind Lake & Michelle or BJ & Tyler. L&M had some cute little interchanges in the car and were funny doing the bottles. I am still mystified by her behavior at the roadblock last week - "What if I have to do it naked?" Huh?

BJ & Tyler are pretty much what I feared they would be - schtick wrapped in schtick tied up in a big ball of schtick. It's just exhausting and I wish they would have just ONE genuine moment. Just one. That said, though, the bottle Detour last night was invented just for them, so if there was a time to break out the schtick, that was it, and it really was funny and fun to watch.

Dani & Danielle - continue to make really stupid mistakes (leaving the bag behind, following the directionally challenged Wanda & Desiree, hanging out with those vile, vile boys) and were nearly out this week. They really do have potential and I just wish they would trust themselves and run their own race. There is still a level of helpless female going on that I think is holding them back, and unfortunately I don't think they're long for the race.

Fran & Barry - nice showing last night, way to take advantage of your strengths (driving and map reading). It looked like they were choosing the wrong Detour yet again last night, but the dancing was being judged pretty leniently, I thought, so they got through pretty quickly. But the whining about being eliminated and how hard it all is - my God, woman, you've survived cancer - suck it up! Wish I like them more.

Jeremy and Eric - still vile.

Dave & Lori - still adorable, and running their own damn race.

Michelle: Yeah...what Laurel said. I was weirded out by how not vile I found Lake. Their marriage is not what I would want for me, but I guess it works for them.

The other team that I initially liked but is really growing on me is Ray and Yolanda. Ray's a little cutie. And he's got back.

So relieved that Team Nerd pulled up from last.

Alison: The Pinks have turned out to be much more tolerable to watch than I'd expected. Everybody else is pretty predictable.

Thoughts on the locations? The cultural zazz?

Laurel:  This is officially the season of places Laurel has gone, because I've been to Munich, too. Who knew there was a movie studio there? Both episodes had the annoying yet awesome feature of local dancers and musicians which will never be as annoying as the ones in Hungary when they had to eat spicy soup, but it's a great way to add to the challenge.

Red Square looks amazing, and the church last week was gorgeous. I wanna go to Russia!

Michelle: I never want to go back to the eating challenges (though I'm sure we will at some point this season), but I was a little let down by how obvious everything was. Not so much in Russia, but Germany is always associated with lederhosen, drinking, and that silly dance. Although I am happy that people got to learn the silly dance. I guess in the past the Race hasn't been so obvious with its cultural references, so maybe this was just a glitch. But when you throw the Mercedes Product Placement test drive...I hope they spend more time in Germany to do better stuff.

One of the things I did like was how the teams approached the language barrier in Germany...because I found the barrier to be nonexistent when I was there. Almost everyone I met spoke near-perfect English and was far more interested in conversing in English than for me to practice my so-far-from-perfect Deutsch. How do you say "fast" in German? "Fast in German."

Alison: I'm digging the locations so far. I would've liked them to spend a little more time in Moscow. I'm not sure how I feel about the near-constant presence of dancing Others in traditional costumes. It's getting creepy.

Roadblocks and Detours, talk about em here.

Laurel: Last week - great Roadblock at the pool, not sure why a couple of teams chose their weaker swimmers to do it - I can't imagine they couldn't have guessed what it would be. Yolanda did great, Wanda. ..... did it eventually, but man, did she grate. She wouldn't have lasted much longer anyway. Desiree was awesome, and the random Russians at the pool were really funny!

This week - stupidest, most pointless, product-placement-related Roadblock ever, and waaaaay too easy. There wasn't even a reward for hauling the damn gnome around this time! (Remember Ron & Kelly finishing last but still getting a hotel room and Travelocity reward?) UGH.

Fantastic Detour, though - the bottles were totally made for BJ & Tyler and Eric & Jeremy, but I am so glad people also did the dancing because that was hella funny. I liked the added challenge of having to wait for the cuckoo - it took some of the control away from the
racers. The dancing didn't seem to be judged very strictly, so I think that was actually the quicker option - the bottles relied on luck and had a time factor.

Michelle: Working in a small part of the media industry, I do understand the impetus behind having product placement challenges (they give you so much money, you're kinda backed into a corner), but that's the last I want to see of the Travelocity gnome. I agree that it seemed pointless, but did all of the teams have their gnomes with them at the end? I was too tired to notice.

Bottle breaking. That was fun to watch.

Alison: I'd been wondering if Lake would end up hitting Michelle, after weeks of calling her a bitch and telling her to shut up, and then he got to smash bottles over her head! I bet he loved that. It was painful to watch Wanda in the pool detour last week. Why would someone who can't swim and is afraid of water volunteer for a detour at a pool that asks "Who wants to take the plunge"? I want to see more outdoor stuff, opportunities for racers to run through the streets and interact with locals. And can they please design a roadblock that will crush the stupid tongue wrestling boys? Sheesh.

And finally, the Elimination. Sad, or kinda not that sad?

Laurel: Sad, but not unexpected. They obviously have a great relationship, and under normal circumstances would be a lot of fun. Wanda just wasn't up to it, though. Desiree is just a lovely human being and a great racer - imagine a team with Desiree and Zach on it!

Michelle: That would be awesome--Zach so deserves to be with someone like Desiree! I was hoping they would make it farther, I was hoping for Final Three, actually. But Wanda seemed like she needed a break--maybe if this hadn't been a To Be Continued, she would've gotten herself together enough to make it through the next leg. But then Lori and Dave would've been out.

Best part of the episodes, though, was seeing "P-H-I-L" spelled out in neon right after Tyler and BJ said something about it not being over until Phil sings. Russia loves ya, Phil!

Alison: Nope, not sad. Mother and Daughter were through. Sweet people, but they were seriously running out of steam. Wanda crying in the pool was the beginning of the end -- by the time she took the wrong turn TWICE when they were trying to get to Munich, I'd had about enough of them.

The Power of Mr. Wizard Compels You

Yep, it's quite possible that every post about this season will be titled courtesy of Dave and Lori. I haven't felt this much affinity for a team since, well, Season 1.

Here's what we thought about...

1. The Roadblock

Laurel: The task itself was fairly boring, standard TAR stuff, but I have to say that Dani had one of the most realistic and genuine freakout moments I've ever seen on the show. She freaked in the exact same way I would (lots of talking but no screaming or tears), was comforted in a really nice way by Fran ("Keep looking at the wall" is great advice), and then she just buckled down and did it. I don't know, it was just very real to me. Unlike a lot of the screaming by the partners on the ground - I think the producers are encouraging that stuff more this season than ever before - a lot of it seemed very fake.

Michelle: Boring, maybe, but those stairs looked killer. What I didn't get was why there was so much bunching at the first two staircases when they could've used any of them. Props to BJ and Tyler for striking out on their own.

2. The Detour

Laurel: Having possibly just rappelled down a building, no way would I be climbing a waterfall. Those ascender thingies are HARD - that's what took down the Bowling Moms in Season 5. Plus I hate Eric, Jeremy, and Lake and I want to see fewer physical tasks so they will just Go Away.

Making ethanol didn't seem much more time consuming than hauling both your asses up the wall, or maybe it just seemed that way since team Nerd Love so thoroughly rocked it.

Michelle: One of my favorite moments of the episode was David saying, "I did this experiment in high school." I liked that one option was also an environmental message--look, here's this great alternative fuel! That's definitely the one I would've chosen.

I don't get Fran and Barry, though. Though I was impressed how she got up the waterfall. And I  liked how Monica said before they started that she was afraid she would hold them back because they were going up against two male teams, but then she totally cruised through it.

3. The Elimination

Laurel:  Yay. Once again, either of the last two teams could have been gone with no tears from me, but that was an uuuuugly meltdown going on - it seemed like the sisters (especially Lisa) were more in love with the idea of being on the race that the reality of actually doing it. Sorry, ladies - enjoy your vacation in beautiful Sequesterville. John & Scott have a pitcher of margaritas waiting.

Michelle: I thought it was odd that the one who was such an early victim of Killer Fatigue was the one who wanted to be on the show in the first place.

4. The Teams

Laurel:  Eric and Jeremy are vile human beings. So many examples tonight, but "I'm gonna smack you, woman" to Phil? Really? However, that comment did elicit the best Phil Eyebrow Pop ever. I hate them so much. Vile.

I pretty much still like the teams I liked last week and I still dislike Lake & the little woman. I'm not buying BJ & Tyler's schtick (VW bugs are not going "back to your roots", doofus - you're 25 years old - you were a toddler in the 80s, for pete's sake!) but they're smart racers.

The team I surprisingly like a little more is Monica & Joseph - they still need to develop a personality, and I will try to forget that she yelled "Use your Mojo" to him at the waterfall, but they had a great leg and her "I'm filthy.....and I love it!" was priceless.

Michelle: The team that I surprisingly like a little more, in addition to Monica and Joseph, is the Danis. I mean, despite the fact that one of them actually let either Eric or Jeremy touch her butt...I can't remember now why I liked them a little more, but I did.

But Eric and Jeremy..."vile" is the exact same word I was using last night. They are repulsive. They are an affront to penises.

5. "Hottie Boombottie with the Naughty Pilates"?

Laurel:  Aawwwwwwww.

Michelle: What killed me about that is how hard Lori was laughing--it was like she was laughing half because it always makes her laugh, and half because she was thinking, "He did NOT just say that on camera."

Oh, Mylanta!

Amazing Race/Season 9/Episode 1

Starting point: Denver, CO
Elimination mat: Sao Paulo, Brazil

1. Which teams made a favorable impression right off the bat?

Michelle: I was a little surprised by this, but the mother/daughter team, or "Team Boricua" really impressed me. They seem to get along really well, the mom's not afraid of anything, and they just rocked through this leg.

I also adore Lori and David. I think they're in danger of becoming too cute, but as I'm completely able to identify with being that goofy-in-love, I love them. I love that they're from Manhattan, KANSAS, and I love that they fully embrace their geekitude, but not in an overdone way (again, it's possible that this will happen).

I was predisposed, thanks to an EW article, to like Yolanda and Ray, but this like was solidified after Lake introduced himself as "Lake, like the ocean" (which is a totally idiotic thing to say) and Ray responded with "Ray, like the sun."

I do like BJ and Tyler, but I was hoping to like them more. I want them to be like the Wilson brothers.

Laurel:

The Love:

Wanda & Desiree - Love them! They have a great relationship - I love how Desiree is able to calm Mom down. They worked well together and were nice to the people they encountered. The language skills certainly didn't hurt, either. I hope they can keep up their energy - they both made comments about how they were running out of gas (and I thought it was totally cute that they used the same expression!)

Ray & Yolanda - So far, so good with them. She was an absolute trouper dealing with the leering peanut gallery at the detour, and you knew he was paying attention but wasn't going to say or do anything unless the men really crossed the line. (I really hate it when the show puts women in that position - hello, Indian train system.) Their interaction in the cab was great, too - Ray could easily have been offended by Yolanda's comment about "How would you feel if there was a big black guy behind you...." but he laughed. I think they really get each other.

David & Lori - I can't help it. They are so cute. They appreciated every single thing they did, and yes, they're in love. We get it. But after a zillion vapid dating models, it's so nice that the annoying schmoopy couple isn't stereotypically pretty and bland.

Jury's Out:

BJ & Tyler (or as I like to call them, Chris Robinson and Alexi Lalas) - They need to stop with the mugging for the camera - they're obviously naturally funny guys, no need to work so hard. I think they're really good, smart racers - picking up useful phrases on the plane is something everyone should always be doing (I'm looking at you, John & Scott. Well, not anymore, I guess) - "Can you pass that car?" was priceless!

Dani & Danielle - More likable and smarter than expected, but they need to cut the helpless female crap. I laughed and laughed when the Brazilian guy dissed them! They're not as cute as they think they are, especially when they're on the same race as the smoking hot Desiree and Yolanda.

Fran & Barry - Started out so well, but they made two huuuuuge mistakes. They're really lucky to still be there. Missing the clue box on the bridge is just one of those things, but hanging around at the motorcycle place expecting Lake to actually tell them how to put the whole thing together was idiotic - what did they expect? That he was going to burn time giving them detailed instructions?

2. How 'bout not so favorable?

Michelle: Lake has many many counts against him, starting with not reading the freakin' clue and then saying he was only "partially" responsible, and ending with...well, not really ending. Man personifies "asshat." I'm leaving it at that.

But Eric and Jeremy: SHUT. UP. And take those RIDICULOUS piercings out. You personify everything that is wrong with American men. Leave now, and never come back.

Monica and Joseph, aka "MoJo," aka "Barbie and Ken," aka "She annoys me to no end."

Laurel: 

The Dislike:

Eric & Jeremy - Made me laugh at first - why not actually admit that you just want to win a million bucks so you can be a slacker? But the constant frat boy talk grates, and when they called D&D "The Hos" They were dead to me.

Monica and Joseph - Well, I hate her the most. And the stupid T-shirts. He might be OK, but who can see past her histrionics? And the T-shirts?

The Hate:

Lake (like the ocean) & Michelle - Spare me the "I'm in control" BS. How nice of you to take "partial responsibility" for the airline screwup. And don't. Yell. At. Your. Wife. Ever.

Lisa & Joni - Louder and screechier than a dozen Godlewskis. And you don't get to give yourself a nickname. Especially "Glamazons". All I needed to see was the freaking BeDazzler to know how much I'd hate these two.

3. Which Detour would you have taken? Did they seem evenly matched in terms of pros/cons?

Michelle: Rotorhead, hands down. Though I would want to spell it Rötörhead. I don't think the options were even--they tend not to be, actually. But there's always going to be that one team for whom the "bad" option is better, and props to Lake (no matter how much I detest him) for picking the Motorhead detour. The idea of being in a helicopter terrifies me, but I'd do it.

Laurel: Gotta say, I might have headed for the motorcycles. It sounded like it might have been more like an Ikea-type task (Fran certainly thought it was) which I would unquestionably rock. I would have ended up doing the helicopter thing, though, and been really glad about it since it looked like an amazing experience - it was fun to see the teams enjoying it so much!

4. How do you feel about this elimination?

Michelle: John was working my last nerve, so I'm good. It was clear to me that they were the ones to go because of the frequency of John's VOs about doing the race for him and learning so much, i.e., classic exit interview soundbites.

But I would've been fine with the "Glamazons" going as well. I wanted to like them because I always want to like the plucky older women, and I did like them at the beginning, but the screeching has got to stop.

Laurel: Thank goodness. I'm glad John faced his fears, but they had a terrible working dynamic, terrible travel skills (stop yelling at random people in English, you fools!) and were really unenjoyable to watch. I won't miss them a bit, which is nice since the last three Races had potentially awesome teams going out first.

5. Any favorite moments in this episode? Cringe-worthy moments?

Michelle: A couple of favorite moments, actually. One is when the Danis blew off Eric and Jeremy--their finest moment. Another was when Joseph (I think?) referred to Lake as "Scott Peterson." Also the editing on Fran and Barry walking right past the clue box like FIVE times saying "I just don't see it." Classic!

As for cringe-worthy...Eric and Jeremy calling the Danis "Hos" and Lake dismissively and reductively referrring to Ray and Yolanda as "the blacks" were hideous moments (particularly when he admonishes his wife, "That black girl'll outrun you!" Uh yeah, asshat, her NAME is Yolanda and she's a freakin' track star, she'll outrun everyone), and on the other side of the spectrum is "Genie Power." Huh?

Laurel:

Two hours is so long - I can hardly remember individual moments! A few faves:

The opening shots at Red Rocks were spectacular - nice way to start the season.

Phil's eyebrow.

Someone calling Lake "Scott Peterson" - hee!

Sao Paulo in general - I squealed when I heard they were going there, and I adored the helicopter detour. Flying over that city is something I will never forget - the sheer number of skyscrapers is just amazing. And the traffic is unreal. Great city.

Cringeworthy - Lake in general, with the yelling and the constant references to the black people (wtf?).

6. What did you think about the interaction between teams and locals in Sao Paulo?

Michelle: It never fails to amuse me when people think they're being all worldy and competitive speaking Spanish in a Portugeuse-speaking nation. I mean, I'm guessing that many people in Brazil do know both, but still. The use of "rapido!" and "emergencia!" make me both giggle and groan--it's so emblematic of the show.

Monica and Joseph were hateful in their cab. I like that BJ and Tyler learned a few key Portugeuse phrases. The men leering in the motorcycle shop I could've done without.

Laurel: As usual, if you're nice to the locals, they'll be nice to you. The behavior of the men at the motorcycle shop was pretty upsetting, and Yolanda handled it well. John and Scott having a meltdown and whining about how everyone hates them - not so good.

7. Other thoughts...

Michelle: No dating models! How refreshing! Phil's eyebow pop was dramatic and sexy as always. I always get chills when he says, "The world is waiting for you." Sigh...

Laurel: My show is back! I loved it, I loved that there's only one person I despise and a whole lot of people I could learn to love. I love the airport drama and the taxi stress and the language barrier. I love that they went somewhere I've been and that it looks like they'll be going to more places I've visited. Yay!

You know what today is?

It's Amazing Race Day! The show is back! Without families! My show is back! OUR show is back!

Surprise, surprise: my favorite team before I even sit down to watch is BJ & Tyler. It seems as though every season has a team destined to deny America any chance of telling them apart; this season it's Danielle and Dani. Both blond, the same height, fairly cute, and if the pic on the site is any indication, they'll be dressed similarly for the whole show. So I guess we're just calling them the Danis. Let's hope for Dani's sake that they don't suck.

CBS, 9pm. 10 hours to Phil.