Everybody Loves Saturday Night

temporarily unavailable

I have discovered that which I really, really, absolutely can't live without: my spine.

I threw my back out yesterday. And I mean, I really chucked it out there. This, right now, is the first time since 2 pm yesterday afternoon that I have been able to sit up, let alone stand and walk. I'm typing this courtesy of Jackie's laptop, Jackie being the kind of friend who comes over in the middle of the day to a) feed your cat and b) change the DVD in the player so you can continue watching the second season of Bones because you can't do a damn thing for yourself. Jackie is also, as I type, cleaning the litter box. If either of us swung that way, I would marry Jackie. Jenn is also here right now, as she was last night, for the early evening shift of cat feeding and DVD changing. I have, as I have said before, extremely awesome friends.

This unable to do for myself thing? SUCKS. Oh my god, does it suck. (Hang on, I'm just going to whine to myself for a little bit.) I've had back pain before, but I've never been immobilized by it before. I know that I didn't do anything more than pull a muscle, and I am taking care of myself by lying on my back on the floor with my knees bent, and I'm doing the stretches, and I have drugs and a heating pad, so that's all good. The only other thing I can do now is just wait it out. And you know I'm impatient.

So anyway, if I owe you an email, I'll get to it soon. I'm planning a mind-over-matter intervention for my back that will get me up and about (in a relaxed, not overdoing it sort of way) by tomorrow afternoon at the latest.

the plan

Yesterday, in addition to being Bastille Day, was the fourth anniversary of this blog. No wait: fifth. (Whoa. Wild!) In honor of this milestone, I've been inspired by several other bloggers to embark on 365 Days of Posting. Four months ago I don't think I would've felt up to the challenge. Today it doesn't feel like a challenge so much as an . . . imperative. (A moral one, at that.) (No, only kidding; that's from a movie.)

In unrelated, sadder news: the iMac celebration was premature, I'm afraid. Saturday's boot-up led to another kernel panic, or the same one, or the Son of Kernel Panic, or something . . . the point is, I got that multilanguage "You must restart your computer" message again. Sunday morning, and into the afternoon, I went through all the troubleshooting I could in order to fix it myself, but this time I was unsuccessful. And unwilling to let it sit for another four months (which I shouldn't have done in the first place, but, you know, bygones). So I packed it up and hopped a cab to Tekserve, which . . .  is really a glorious place, you know.

I got there at 4:30, knowing they close at 6:00 on Sundays, hoping that it wouldn't be too busy. And it wasn't. I was given a ticket with the number 41 on it; they were currently on number 38. I only had about a 20-30 minute wait. So far, so good.

My number got called, I explained to the Mac dude what had happened, what I did to try and resolve it, and what had initially caused the kernel panic to begin with (at least, I think it did -- way back in February I accidentally jostled the power cord while the iMac was on and it came unplugged from the monitor side). Mac dude did a couple voodoo-y things and then came back with "we can take it in for diagnostics." He said it could be one of two things: either bad RAM (which is the most common cause of kernel panics, from what I understand), which is easy to fix, or a bad logic board, which is not easy and extremely expensive to fix. The good news either way is that my hard drive is not affected. The bad news is that if it is the logic board I might as well go ahead and get a new computer. Truthfully, I've been wanting to get a laptop for a while now, but I would have to take a chunk out of my savings to do that and then put off the camera purchase, any hope of travel in the next six months, the air filter I want to get, and so on. This is also assuming that I don't get a new job and/or more freelance work within the next three months as I am hoping to do.

(Oh yeah, I'm looking for work. I either need immediate supplemental freelance work writing/editing stuff, either print or online, or a full-time gig in print/web production that pays a living wage. I have a bottom line; my current situation is about 5K under that. My company cannot meet my salary requirement because they're a small startup and they're being conservative with the budget. Which is understandable and fine for them, but unacceptable for me. Yes, they are aware of my circumstances.)

I should know the status of my computer by Thursday. Let's hope it's the inexpensive easy fix.

liberte, egalite, fraternite

La Marseillaise is my favorite national anthem. And my favorite rendition of it is in Casablanca:

Happy Bastille Day!

all is right with the world

1. My iMac is back. I didn't have to do anything except leave it alone for four months, apparently (it wouldn't have taken so long had I not had a work laptop). I was getting ready to pack it up and haul it to Tekserve, but since it had been so long since I'd first tried to troubleshoot that black multi-language screen that I figured I'd boot up one more time and take notes on what exactly was happening so I could tell the Tekserve person. The first install disc was still in the CD drive, though, and before I knew it I was being asked to insert Disc 2. "Why not," thought I. Minutes later, I saw my long-lost desktop wallpaper. I did some preliminary clicks on icons; things opened. iTunes: all there. Then I ran the software update to get things back up to speed and the computer restarted without incident, and I've been working on it ever since. I am relieved that I don't have to lug it to Manhattan today of all days (100% humidity and yet it's not raining? No thank you) and I am so, so, so happy to have my Mac back.

2. Beck's new album, Modern Guilt, the one he worked on with Danger Mouse? Is SO GOOD. Every time Beck comes out with a new album I think back to my first reaction to "Loser," which was, I have to say, "blech." Everyone seemed so into this guy and I thought he was a lame-o slacker who reminded me of annoying guys from high school. But then he came out with Odelay and damn if I didn't fall for "Devil's Haircut," and fall hard. I still don't own his early early stuff and don't care to. But I think Beck is a genius. I may have this album on perpetual repeat all day. (Well, I would if I didn't have eleventy billion other things to listen to that I've been waiting to download since March.)

3. I finished the first Sodera sock. Imagine a picture here, but I can't manage to take a decent one right now. I really think my camera is giving up the ghost. This would be the only thing that's not going well right now. It's a small thing, really, and easily fixed.

4. But that said, who wants to give me digital camera advice? I've never had a camera that did much more than point-and-shoot, so I'm looking at the PowerShot A590, but I'm also considering the Rebel XT. It's more than I ideally would want to spend, but then again, I don't want to pay less now if I'm going to be disappointed in lack of options and functionality down the road. I'm not looking for a pro-level camera, but I like taking pictures, I like playing with tech stuff, I feel ready for something new and improved. I should probably just go down to a camera place and play around, but it would be nice to have ideas first.

nice. and maybe a little nuts.

In this post, from a little over a year ago, I talked about having gained two dress sizes since 2005 and the steps I was taking to lose weight. Various aspects of my life sort of derailed that whole process -- if I'm being completely honest I think being depressed had a lot to do with it, the idea that I was somehow unworthy of feeling better about myself. Not going to dwell on that, because that's so far away from where I'm at right now. Other side of the world far away.

The point is, this picture was taken today, July 7, 2008. That's me in the photo, wearing a skirt that I haven't worn since 2005, because by the time summer 2006 rolled around it didn't fit any more.

Nice, right? I am pleased. I have a waist again. The hourglass, she is back. This is helped by the amazing new bra I got, which looks lacy and feminine but feels a little like body armor and does some freaking fantastic lift-and-separate action, the likes of which I have never experienced before. (If only it came in black.) I've been enjoying getting reacquainted with this shape, these curves. I'm just sayin'. This is a really good place to be right now.

The part that's a little nuts: I don't even particularly like this skirt (thrifted years ago, before I even came to NY I think). It has a weird hem and it doesn't quite hang right on me, even if it does fit. If I recall correctly, the lining has a tendency to ride up when I walk. So why the hell did I keep this skirt around? Why, during my various purges over the last few years, did I not rip this skirt from its hanger and throw it in the Goodwill pile?

Am I just a sucker for a really cute print?

things to look forward to this month

July 11: Hellboy 2 opens. I just got the first one via Netflix. I've seen it before, but so long ago that all I remember are basic shapes. So I plan on watching it again soon. It's a little Guillermo del Toro Film Fest around here, because I finally got around to watching Pan's Labyrinth last night. What a perfect film. Really. The story is fantastic and well-crafted, the visuals are gorgeous and magical and strange, and I don't think I was conscious of breathing until the movie ended -- upon which I burst into tears. Just, wow.

July 14: Bastille Day -- one of my two favorite non-American holidays. I'd like to try and find some sort of celebration to attend, so it's not just me in my apartment singing La Marseillaise to the cat.

July 15: Part I of Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog streams.

July 17: The Dark Knight opens. FINALLY. Holy shit, I cannot WAIT.

*ahem* Excuse me.

Also on July 17: Part II of Dr. Horrible.

July 19: Part III of Dr. Horrible.

July 21: I'm on VACATION! Plans include a quickie trip down to Philly, to hang with my Philly peeps.

July 25: several movies open. Brideshead Revisited (new adaptation by Andrew Davies, Emma Thompson as Lady Marchmain? very exciting), American Teen (documentary about high school seniors in Indiana), and . . . well, X-Files: I Want to Believe. Can't NOT see that one.

July 31: Long Winters playing free show at Castle Clinton. Yes, I will be blowing off work to wait in line for tix.

where've I been? what've I been up to?

I gave in to Twitter.

I wasn't going to. I thought it would suck all the time out of my day. I thought, "do I really need to know exactly everything that everyone is doing?" Because really? if I know that? then what else is there to talk about, right?

Besides, I had Facebook. Facebook has a lovely "status update" feature that I dig. I was really getting into the challenge of constructing a narrative about what I was doing or how I was feeling within that limited amount of space. Random thoughts would occur to me and I would put them in Facebook. Things like:

"Michelle is conflicted about the casting of Watchmen." (Seriously. Jeffery Dean Morgan as The Comedian? FUCKING BRILLANT. But Billy Crudup as Dr. Manhattan? No no no no no no NO. Then again . . . man, the rest of the cast looks pretty damn good.)

"Michelle is really kinda digging that Yoav CD."

"Michelle happens to have Marshall McLuhan right here."

See? Fun.

Then I realized that I was updating my Facebook status a lot more frequently. I'd become a little addicted to the mini-stories that comprised my average day. And that's when I thought again about Twitter.

The other thing I realized is that apparently I'm no longer content to just have the 60-odd friends on Facebook know what I'm up to; apparently I need the entire Twitterverse to know that, for example, that I ran out of coffee. And what I was listening to on the radio this afternoon. Again, a lot of the appeal is the challenge and fun of the ephemeral flash mini-narrative. Different than blogging, where I (usually. ok, sometimes) try to dig a little deeper.

And there's another difference that I haven't quite thought all the way through about yet. I feel as though I've become a little more guarded in what I write about here -- less personal than I was, say, three years ago or even a year ago. And yet . . . not that I am putting up extremely personal details on Twitter, but it feels like a more intimate setting for my daily minutiae. Even though, as I said, anyone can just read it. I'm still working on figuring this out. Not that it's taking up a huge part of my brain space.

um.

Yes, please.

movies: wanted

Wanted is like a blind date. Maybe you were set up by a friend, or your mom, or something. You go into it with fairly low expectations, thinking of all the horror stories you've heard from friends and pop culture, but then . . . he's not that bad. You're actually getting along, in a friendly sort of way, with decent conversation and very few awkward pauses. He laughs at some of your jokes, you laugh at some of his. All in all, you're having a good time. This date? Does not suck.

That spark doesn't seem to quite be there, though. He's perfectly nice, fairly attractive, a few surprises up his sleeve. There are a few moments in which you think, "hmm, maybe there's something here..." but then two minutes later it's gone. It's nobody's fault, really. You're just not feeling it.

This is Wanted. Except fault can be found with the movie and methinks . . . it lies partly with direction, partly with script. Couldn't really buy James McAvoy as action man (he is awfully yummy, though, and I think he's fantastic otherwise. I say this just in case he stumbles upon this and thinks I hate him or something. I don't. You're lovely, very talented, charming, and you can call me anytime). Did like Angelina Jolie quite a bit, and I'm not ordinarily a fan. Can't help but like Morgan Freeman but felt the script cheated him a bit. Action scenes were for the most part fab, though near the end I found myself thinking, "yeah . . . this could end any time now." Not to point fingers or anything, because really, it wasn't a bad way to spend a couple hours and $12. I don't feel like I wasted my time or money. It was fun, you know? But I just wasn't feeling it.

it's here